


Egg On Face

by frootylarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Harry, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, One Shot, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Top Louis, larry au, louis' boss is kind of a dickwad, married larry, slight homophia, they have a cat named serendipity and it's cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:24:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frootylarry/pseuds/frootylarry
Summary: Louis' boss invites him and his husband Harry to dinner. Louis wants to make a good impression, but his husband has a tendency to drink too much and say exactly what's on his mind.





	Egg On Face

*****

When Harry heard his husband Louis walk in through the door, he had expected it to be the same routine it had been since he first started working for the top-notch book publishing company in the city three months ago.

Since Louis was the newest, most unexperienced employee, he basically just did everything his boss, Mr. Harvey, would tell him to do. Louis worked in the department that handled all the legal issues behind a book, like copyright and distribution, which basically meant a lot of paperwork and phone calls on top of being his boss' glorified assistant.

Most times Louis would come home exhausted and fall into his husband's arms, who would give him a foot rub and a hot cuppa.

Then Louis would tell him all about how his boss overworked him and that he really was a dickhead at times, and Harry would just massage his husband's scalp, relaxing him until he fell asleep.

He knew Louis really did love his job though, working for such a prestigious company, and he was constantly working towards a promotion, so he could have more control over his working hours and of course, get a larger paycheck.

Harry would tell him that he had just started, they wouldn't give it to him yet, but Louis insisted on getting on his boss's good side so he'll have a better chance.

He wanted the best for his little family- his beautiful Harry and their cat Serendipity.

That's why he put up with Mr. Harvey's unnecessary lectures whenever Louis forgot to forward an e-mail or something dumb like that, or the times he would completely disregard any ideas Louis pitched to him because "that wasn't his department".

Harry was pleasantly surprised though, when he noticed a large grin on Louis' face as he sauntered into the kitchen, where Harry had already set the kettle up for his tea.

"What's got you in such a good mood?", Harry asked as Louis pulled him in for his welcome-home kiss.

"Nothing, nothing, just a conversation I had with my boss today", Louis replied, wrapping himself around his husband's back as Harry stirred the tea.

"Mr. Harvey? You hate him", Harry handed Louis his special mug and leaned back against the kitchen island.

"Yes, dear, I'm aware," Louis took the mug from his hands and sat on the counter, "But today he pulled me over before I left and he says, 'Mr. Tomlinson, you have been an excellent worker since I ever first employed you. I see real potential in you, real potential'."

Harry stifled a laugh as he watched his husband impersonate Mr. Harvey almost perfectly, " 'How's about you come to my abode', yeah, he _actually_ says abode. _On purpose_. Anyway, he's like 'how's about you come over to my abode for dinner tomorrow night with your wife? We could discuss ways you could advance in your career, hmm?' Of course I had to remind him that I was in fact married to a man, but isn't that great, babe? This might mean a promotion!"

"Oh, that's incredible, Lou, I'm so proud of you, baby!", Harry said, pulling him in for a hug then kissing him long and hard.

Louis pulled away, a few centimeters between him and Harry's face, thumb rubbing against Harry's hip.

"Mm, celebratory sex?" he suggested.

"Definitely... Usually you come home dead tired after work, I like this," Harry got out before Louis attacked his mouth and ran his hands down his husband's chest. Somehow, they made it to their bedroom completely bare. When Louis had Harry laid down, a thought flitted through his head.

"You are going to behave tomorrow in front of my boss, right?", Louis asked, leaning on his forearms.

"'Course. I'm always good for you, Daddy," Harry replied teasingly.

"You did not just..." Louis groaned, placing his face in between Harry's neck and shoulder.

Harry laughed quietly at his reaction, but was swiftly cut off when Louis started nipping at his smooth skin.

"But you'll help me make a good impression, right, Haz?" the older man murmured, inhaling his boy's sweet scent.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll act like a fucking Boy Scout, Lou, just fuck me already," Harry moaned, gripping his husband's biceps, grinding up into him.

Louis happily obliged, making sure Harry was prepped before thrusting into him, all worries regarding promotions and bosses and dinners disintegrating completely.  
__

The following evening, Louis was scurrying around the house, hastily getting himself ready for the dinner crucial to his career.

"Honey, where'd you put my shoes?"

"Should I iron my pants? Yeah, I probably should.."

"Hazza, I can't find my comb anywhere! Oh wait, here it is!"

"My hair's being an arse right now, it won't quiff right!"

The curly headed lad walked to the bathroom and leaned against the doorway. He was met with the sight of his lovely husband, in only an obviously oversized creamy white button up, his boxers, and a pair of argyle socks. He was trying to get his hair just right, and Harry could see the frustration building up on his face.

Harry quietly made his way behind Louis and wrapped his arms around his slim waist, kissing his shoulder lightly, trying to calm Louis' frenzy.

"This is not the time for cuddling, Harry. I look like shit, my hair's not cooperating, and I just now realized I don't even know how to iron!" Louis whined.

Harry turned him around in his arms and stroked his cheek softly, instantly relaxing Louis.

"Shh, love," Harry pecked his forehead, "You look fine, you can leave your hair the way it is, you're not meeting the Queen, and I'll iron your pants for you, okay?"

Louis nodded and sighed, smiling up at his green-eyed lover, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Lou", Harry replied, smiling softly, "I'm going to get ready, yell for me if you need anything", he said, patting his bum gently and walking off.

Just as he was about to step out of the bathroom, he paused, "Oh, and Louis?"

"Yes, love?"

"In case you were wondering why that shirt is too big for you.. It's because it's mine," he smirked before leaving to their room.  
________________

"Okay, now turn right here."

"But the lady said not for another 3.25 miles!"

"We'll get there faster this way, though, I'm sure of it."

"We have to follow the GPS lady if we want to get to a house we've never been before without getting lost, Lewis."

Louis raised an eyebrow at Harry defiantly, "So you trust your husband less than you trust a _machine_?"

Harry huffed, "Of course not, s'just that it's safer this way, you don't want to be late for your boss, right?"

"No, I don't, that's why we _shouldn't_ follow the damn GPS and go through the shortcut!"

"Alright, that's enough," Harry grunted, pulled their BMW over to the side of the road and unbuckled his seatbelt, "You can drive, it's _your_ career."

"Fine," Louis grumbled as he scrambled over to the driver's seat.

Harry climbed into the passenger's seat and crossed his arms, "Go on. Get us there through your magical shortcut. And if we're even a minute late, I get to... um... top for a whole week."

"I accept that challenge, Curly McBottompants," Louis smirked and drove off in a different direction, leaving the GPS lady in her "recalculating..." chant.

"How mature..." Harry mumbled sarcastically.

"What was that?" the older lad hummed.

"I said, 'I love you'," Harry smiled sweetly.

"Sure you did... I love you, too, by the way," Louis said fondly, reaching over and squeezing Harry's knee.

Harry blushed, yes, he still blushes at his husband's touch even after years of being together, and pecked his cheek softly, and that was the end of their argument.

When they pulled into the luxurious two-story villa, Louis drew out a long breath.

This was it.

His potential promotion relied on how good of an impression he could make tonight.

Harry took his hand and rubbed his thumb against his, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

They were greeted by a plump woman with a kind smile, wearing a pleated light blue dress under a crisp, white apron.

"The Tomlinsons, correct?"

"Yes, that'd be us," Louis replied.

"Come in and sit down, Mr. Harvey will be right with you," she scurried off towards the back of the large home.

"It's so nice in here," Harry said quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence that creeped through the high-ceilinged room.

"Yeah. He's outrageously rich," Louis said back.

"Oh! The Tomlinsons are here!" trilled a lady with dyed auburn hair and extravagant clothes and jewelry, "I'm Mrs. Harvey, but you can call me 'Margaret'."

"Ah, yes, that'd be us. Nice to meet you, I'm Louis Tomlinson," Louis shook her hand politely, "and this is my husband, Harry."

"Nice to meet you," mumbled Harry with a shy smile.

"Your.. husband?" she asked as a glimpse of disgust flashed across her face.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?", Louis raised an eyebrow at her.

The face she had made fled as soon as it came and she plastered on a fake smile, "Why, of course not. Come, _my_ husband is expecting you."

The couple walked a few paces behind her, Louis making faces to the back of her head and Harry trying to stifle his giggles.

They followed her to a spacious dining room where an elegant chandelier hung from the ceiling and Mr. Harvey sat at the end of the long, wooden table. He stood up to greet them as soon as he noticed them walk in.

"Good evening, Mr. Tomlinson... and Mr. Tomlinson," he nodded to them curtly, "Come and sit down. We'll start dinner right away, I'm famished."

Harry and Louis both took their seats near Mr. Harvey, who eyed them skeptically and adjusted his sweater vest that probably cost more than Louis' entire closet.

Soon enough, the food came in: steaming plates of gourmet lobster and scallops, thick, creamy soup garnished with fragrant herbs and crispy French bread.

Harry was quick to grab most everything that was being offered, while Louis, who was both nervous and not a very adventurous eater, picked at a chunk of bread and sprinkled some crumbs on his soup.

"So, Louis," started Mr. Harvey, wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin, "What do you plan to achieve in favor of my company?"

Harry ate quietly, observing the way his husband spoke with his hands, not quite listening to what he was actually saying. He had always been more of an artsy type, ever since uni, so business talk always bored him to death. Charts and figures were never his thing, but then again if they were, Louis would've never offered to tutor him back in the day and they never would've ended up making out in his dorm room.

As soon as he starts thinking about how Louis' scruff is starting to grow out and whether or not that'd feel nice between his legs, he feels the scrutinizing gaze of Mrs. Harvey across the table. She's looking at him with her chin up and an overarched eyebrow raised, as if daring him to initiate conversation. He finally cracks and asks, "Mrs. Harvey, that is a lovely vase, where _did_ you get that?"

"Please. Call me Margaret," her maroon lips curled into a smile, "Oh, nowhere special. It was just in the most quaint, little place in Paris. It was on sale for 2,000 French francs and I just had to have it, right Stephen?"

"Yes, of course, darling," Mr. Harvey said dismissively, "Excuse me, could we get some wine in here, we're all parched."

The servers were quick to serve everyone a sparkling glass and Mr. Harvey boasted about his wine cellar and how to tell between good and bad wine. As the conversation went from wineries to vineyards to buying estates, Harry sipped away at his expensive looking glass.

Louis watched him from the corner of his eye, because if he knew anything about Harry, it was that he got drunk easily. Harry himself admitted that he doesn't handle his alcohol very well, but he had nothing else to do, and he didn't want to hear anymore about Mrs. Harvey's extensive Tiffany lamp collection.

"Hey," he whispered at a server standing by, "Excuse me, could I get a bit more?"

Harry wiggled his glass in the air suggestively and the server silently swooped in and filled it. As time went by and dessert was being served, Harry had developed a signal with that particular server. All he had to do was catch his eye, tip his head toward his empty glass and voila.

When Louis noticed that Harry had had one too many, he tapped his foot against Harry's ankle, shaking his head shortly. To this Harry just tapped him back and giggled, not quite getting the message, sipping away at his wine.

Mr. Harvey looked over at Harry and gave him an odd look, grey eyebrow furrowed.

'Jesus christ,' Louis thought, 'I need to get the attention off of Harry. Fuck, what do old people like to talk about?'

"So, Mr. Harvey," Louis smiled charmingly, "Do you have any kids?"

"Oh yes, two boys," he wiped his mouth, "One went into marketing, the other's in school for law. Remarkable young men, take after their father." He laughed. "What about you? I mean... can you have children? You know, being... and all that?"

"Well, sir-" Louis said before being interrupted.

"Neither of us can get pregnant if that's what you're asking," Harry looked over at Mrs. Harvey knowingly and winked, "Although we've tried many times."

Mrs. Harvey's face flushed bright red, "Goodness me."

"I think what he _meant_ to say," Louis laughed nervously, "Is that we'd obviously need to look into getting a surrogate or, what we would prefer, adopting."

"I see," Mr. Harvey nodded, noticing how Harry was chuckling at Mrs. Harvey's reaction.

"It's obvious she hasn't gotten any dick in a while if she can't take a joke like that," Harry cackled, "Come on, lighten up.

"Harry!" Louis' eyes widened.

"Well," Mrs. Harvey said once she composed herself, "I still stand by the fact that a child needs a mother."

"Yes, but-" Louis started.

"Oh, that's some bullshit," Harry rolled his eyes, "As if you two washed up, bougie assholes could raise a kid better than me and Louis."

"Harry, quit it!" Louis exclaimed, scandalized, "Don't pay any attention to him, Mr. Harvey, I'm sure he didn't mean it. He just had too much to drink, is all."

"Well, I really hope that's the case, Mr. Tomlinson," Mr. Harvey huffed.

"Harry, why don't you apologize to them? Please?" Louis pleaded.

"Fine," Harry sighed, putting the palms of his hands together, "Mrs. Harvey, I'm sorry you were born with a naturally screechy voice and a bad sense of style, and that your sex life was forgotten along with big hair and penny loafers in the 80s. And Mr. Harvey, I'm very sorry that you're too arrogant and homophobic to realize that my husband is one of the most talented, loyal, hardworking people at your company, and if you can't see that, you can suck a dick."

Louis was both mortified and flattered at what Harry had said. He didn't even have the nerve to look at his boss' face right now.

"Well... I don't know what to say..." Mr. Harvey crossed his arms.

"You know, Mr. Harvey," Harry sighed, "My Louis has hundreds of amazing ideas to market your company written down in this little journal of his. He's so passionate about what he does and all he wants is for you to take him seriously."

Louis cracked a small smile, "Baby, I love that you're trying to help but I think you've done enough damage."

"No," Mr. Harvey spoke up, "Everything's he's said is true." This made Mrs. Harvey gasp loudly in offense. "Although he was very crude, I believe I've wronged you, Mr. Tomlinson. I was planning to give you a small bonus, but now I'm giving you the chance to be my head assistant executive if I like your ideas. I want this journal of yours on my desk Monday morning at 8 o'clock, not a minute after. Understood?"

"Oh, yes, sir, thank you so much," Louis beamed.

"Ha, suck it, Margaret," Harry stuck his tongue out at the seething woman.

"If you'll excuse me," Louis stood up, "I'll be on my way now, I think Harry needs to rest. Thank you for having me. Let's go home, babe."

"Aw, but it was just getting interesting," Harry pouted and got up, throwing his coat over his shoulders, "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Harvey for everything. And by everything I mean the wine."

Louis chuckled and led his husband away by his arm, "Alright, honey, let's go."  
______________

"Oh, god! Harry, I'm so close," Louis warned, panting and tugging at the curls on Harry's bobbing head.

Harry hummed contently, tipping Louis over the edge to spill into his mouth. Harry moved his way up his husband's body, leaving a trail of kisses.

Louis stroked his cheek, "What would I do without that big mouth of yours?"

"Not get amazing blowjobs like that one, that's for sure," Harry smirked.

"I was talking about what happened today, silly," Louis sighed, "I don't know how you pulled it off. You're dangerously charming, you know that?"

"So I've been told," Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Louis giggled at his husband, tugging him closer, "You're never drinking around anyone of importance while I'm around from now on, you know that, right?"

"Yes, Louis," Harry sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work on ao3 (i've always just posted on wattpad) :) let me know if you like it !


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